Chance, Coin Tosses, Fate and the Blessed Training of Insomnia (9/5/98)

After partying until 5:30 a.m. Friday night/Saturday morning, I was ready for some serious rack time. Of course, I was only able to sleep about three hours. I was awakened by a call from United Blood Services asking me for a holiday weekend donation because both O blood types were in short supply. Let's see: I'd been drinking off and on all night, I hadn't eaten in 12 hours and I'd had less than 180 minutes sleep... Hmm, let the fuckers bleed to death, I thought.

Anyway, I couldn't get back to sleep; so I got up, watched Popular Mechanics for Kids, read for a while, screamed in the shower and tried to get myself coherent. I curled up in bed just to veg and read, got about 180 pages into a book and decided I needed some chow. I headed out to the diner Jon and I usually hit after climbing because it has nice, heavy breakfast food, and you don't get too many weird looks when you stroll in at 3 in the afternoon looking like a vampire in a tanning bed.

The redheaded waitress I mentioned a couple posts ago was working. She was loathe to bring me the big-assed glass of tomato juice I ordered (When I'm drinking tomato juice, you know the night before was a long one and the edge needs taken off muy pronto.) but she did it anyway, flirted a bit and brought me a big ol' spread of breakfast.

I hung around a lot longer than I needed to trying to infuse my system with caffeine and also trying to get up the nerve to ask for her number. I made sure I paid and tipped beforehand; so there was no pressure from that front. I don't know why I was nervous, other than the fact that I've been in a slump lately and I was a tad shaken at having lost a coin toss to a lesbian the night before (see the 9/4 post). Still, part of me figured that the gods (such as they are) owed me one for the coin toss and the nasty little irony of having to drive the lesbian and the subject of the coin toss home.

Faint heart fair lady nothing ventured yada yada right? I asked her, hypothetically speaking, how huge a tactical mistake she thought it would be if I asked for her number. She laughed and gave me the home and the work number. I heard a little" ching!" go off in my head. We chatted for a while and a little voice said, "Be bold." I asked what her plans were for that night. She said beer and tequila. I asked if she were drinking with a posse or if she were going solo. She said solo because, "I hate people." Hmm: redhead, waitress, misanthrope, pretty, great laugh, nice build... Hazah!

I then asked if she wanted to hook up after work for a beer, maybe some chow. She told me to call her at work between 8 and 8:30. There were lots of smiles and the whole works between both of us, and I left in a pretty damn good mood.

I headed home, did a load of laundry and tried desperately to get a nap. No dice. I ended up doing the old meditation bit trying to trick my body into thinking it was rested. It worked pretty well. When I was doing laundry, I found a dime face up and made an appropriate wish.

I called at 8:15. She lives close to the restaurant and said she had to go home before we went out. Since she walked to work, I asked if she wanted me to pick her up at the restaurant and hang while she got ready. That was all good.

I picked her up and took her to her place, sat in the living room and meditated some more while she got ready. I think I actually appeared relatively rested. She came out of the bedroom looking casual but stunning.

We headed out to Pub&Grub for burgers and beer. Terry, the owner, was a little taken aback. I never take girls to the P&G. It's my guy hangout and home base chill place. Still, it seemed like a good idea at the time. I was right.

The ASU/Washington State game was on. She used to live in Washington. The place was full of ASU fans (hard to picture just outside of Phoenix). In the bottom of the 4th quarter, the Washington punt returner called a fair catch in the end zone and one of the guys sitting behind her called him a pussy. Oops. I knew she had a little bit of an instigator streak in her, and it just bubbled to the surface. Next thing, we were both cheering for Washington. Terry gave me this fearful look like, "Murph promised me he'd never start anything in my bar. Do I believe him?" as his eyes swept the room tallying potential damage. I shot a couple dirty looks over her shoulder at the loudest table as they were shooting dirty looks at her. I think the little smile I was wearing may have had something to do with why they turned away so quickly, even after we were hollering and screaming when Washington made a huge run, breaking like seven tackles to score the winning touchdown. We didn't get any shit.

After P&G we headed down to Kay's Place, a seedy but safe little neighborhood bar down the road where we could get a pool table. We played, we drank (her a little more than I, since I was driving and it was a holiday weekend), we flirted, we touched, we had FUN.

When we left she wanted to go someplace else. All the straight after hours places I knew of were on the other side of the Valley, and I didn't feel like driving that far west. She said she wanted someplace with a bed. I wasn't surprised, given how the night had gone, but I did have a little bit of a dilemma. I never sleep with someone without first having the "I'm involved in an open marriage" talk. I just will not do it. Period. True, this has cost me what I'm sure would have been some very pleasant experiences, but at least this way I can look myself in the mirror without feeling like an asshole. That's one of my governing rules: Try to never be an asshole.

She was, how to put this delicately?, stunned. The only word she could get out for a while was, "Wow." We ended up back at the diner. We talked a little. She worked a couple of tables to help out the swamped floor crew and also to give herself a little bit of a distraction.

At one point she said, "Why did this have to happen to me?"

I said, "I think I know what you mean, and I'm not trying to belabor the obvious, but why did what have to happen to you?"

"This. I meet a really great guy who's smart and funny and interesting and who I want really really bad, and he's fucking married. I like you. I had a great time with you. Now there's this thing. I guess you could say I have a moral dilemma."

We finally got it all ironed out. I think what helped was when I told her that I really liked her (true), that even though the subject hadn't come up the way I would have liked it that nothing would have happened without full disclosure (true), that nothing had to happen that night (true), that if she weren't comfortable with a physical relationship that I understood and would respect that (true) and that if she had a good time and wanted to just hang out and be buds, I was completely cool with that (true). Here's a hint: I don't lie, particularly about anything that could hurt somebody needlessly. I don't apologize for my lifestyle and try not to do anything that could lead to emotional damage. See previous note about not being an asshole.

She finally decided what the hell, and we went back to her place. I gave her the dime I found earlier, told her I made a wish on it and thanked her for making it come true. Here's another hint: I don't give details. Suffice it to say the following: If she and I continue to see each other, and I think we might, I'm going to have to take up running again. The weight training, rock climbing, etc. I've been doing for almost a year now has given me a decent amount of strength and endurance, but my aerobic levels could use some work.

There are a lot of things I like about this girl. First, she has some baggage, but she carries it! She doesn't do any "poor me" bullshit. She's strong; she's tough; she's smart and she's funny. She's been through a world of shit in her 28 years and has actually grown with it, rather than letting it weigh her down. I not only like, I respect people with that kind of heart.

Of course, she does have some problems. She's a touch insecure. You kind of get the feeling that she thinks she's unlucky and won't be able to hold on to anything good. She's also self-conscious about her appearance. God knoweth why, she's a really attractive girl. I guess it's the fact that she's carrying slightly (and I do mean slightly) more weight than is optimum for her frame. She carries it really well, however. I don't know if spending time with me will help her self-image or not. I hope so. She deserves to see herself as striking as she really is.

So, we got to sleep around 5:30 or so. She had to be up at 8 to be at work at 9. Oops. As we were settling in to sleep, she said, "Do me a favor."

I don't do blanket favors, except for people I've known long enough to be willing to die for gladly; so I said, "Maybe."

"If you want to leave, you can go, but just don't leave in the middle of the night."

That's something I never do. I either stay, or I go, but I never say one and to the other. I assured her of this and we slept.

The alarm went off softly and then made a crescendo. She snooze tags. I really like snooze taggers. I leaned up on my elbow and watched her sleep. You know how most people's faces get all wonky when they're sleeping? Not hers. It just get more relaxed, like all the shit's disappeared. She woke up and caught me looking. No wiggins. No trippiness. Not even a question. Just, "Hi there." She then gave this pleasantly surprised, "What planet did they grow you on?" look and said, "You really don't lie, do you?"

We flew through getting ready and I dropped her off at work (a little late). I went home, grabbed a shower, screaming the whole time to try to wake up, blasting Poison's "Look What the Cat Dragged In." Hey, I like hair metal and that song fit like a glove at that point. So fuck off.

I swung back through the restaurant to say hi and pound a cup of coffee and tomato juice before I went to meet Kristine for brunch. Kristine and I then ate, I came home, and she had left a message on my machine that she had left work early and I should give her a call. I did. She basically wanted to see if I was really still interested of if I'd gotten what I wanted and was gonna boogie. I'm still interested, and we're getting together on Saturday. She was going to sleep. I was going to grab a half hour's combat nap before I went climbing; so we wished each other sweet dreams and hung up.

Half an hour later, Kristine woke me up (at my request) and I heaved my ass down to the rock gym. I'd called Jon to confirm Saturday night before I went to pick the girl up and begged him not to let me try anything more difficult than a 5.8. I had a hunch I'd be a little tired Sunday.

I climbed slowly and poorly, but at least I did it. Jon and I went to dinner at the diner. I thought about cruising by her place on the way home to see how she was doing, but she had been so wiped that I didn't want to wake her if she were sleeping. Besides, I'd told her I'd call Monday.

I called Monday and got her machine, not surprising since she doesn't like her place and spends as little time there as possible. She's supposed to call me at the office today. I hope she does. If the girl can avoid doing the maxi-wig when she's out of the moment, I think she and I could have a lot of fun and do each other a lot of good.

See, it's not always a bad thing to lose a coin toss.

M_